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When I was 19 I had a very, very vivid dream that my 16 year old brother was sitting on the edge of his bed and I was kneeling in front of him and giving him head. In my dream I felt so many emotions all at once. I was ashamed because he was my brother and he was younger then me and I felt like I was teaching him these gross and negative things. I was scared because in the dream I could hear my mom just down the hall in the kitchen making dinner and at any minute I knew that she could pop in and catch us. But I also felt really really aroused and alive. To put it bluntly, even at 16 my brother was hot. Tan, athletic, well dressed and well groomed. And he was saying the most amazing things to me. About how I was doing it better then any other girl. That nobody compared to me. That he had wanted me for so long but was too shy to approach.
I woke up so wet and so confused. I couldn't look at my brother without feeling this strange mixture of shame and arousal.
I've had my issues with sex. I've been abused and that abuse has manifested itself into both real world and dream world fetishes/fantasies. But this was the first time I ever thought about someone in my family in such a way and it totally confused me so I buried it as deep as I could inside me.
Fast forward eight years....
My brother is hotter then ever and I can't deny that I would totally do him if I had the chance. I've only told one person and he's encouraged me to write down my fantasies and dreams. He said that I might learn more about who I am as a sexual human being. That maybe the thing with my brother is just one part to a deeper puzzle.
In the last year it's really expanded from the original sibling sex to a stronger more dangerous daddy/daughter scenario. When I masturbate to my brother I am picturing my real life brother. But when I'm masturbating to my daddy/daughter scenario I'm always a 14 year old girl who is living with her single father and trying to fill the "wife" role for him.
Words cannot describe how hot and erotic I feel. How naughty and ashamed but so thoroughly pleasured and fulfilled.
I know it's wrong. You don't have to explain that to me.
But goddamn it's fucking fantastic.....
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