This isn't exactly a fantasy... I'm finding out what it feels like to be truly owned. It's not easy. I want it, but it's not easy. It takes discipline. It takes having a healthy life on your own. I'm almost there. I already had a painful experience in the first week. I wasn't present for her because I had all these other worries... and I wasted her time. I'm afraid to contact her because I think I might do it again.ut she told me tat as long as I initiate, she will always respond. So I initiated a chat with her, and the waiting feels awful. I don't know if she's still angry with me. As I've been doing the mental exercises she's asked me to do, I've been feeling her pull me in everything I do. I haven't even met her yet, and I feel such a pull. She already seems to stand behind me, always, influencing everything I do. When she pushes me to run, I run. When she pulls me to straighten in my chair, I sit erect, in more ways than one. I get a little reward every time I follow her lead.