I've worked with Adrian for nearly six years. She's been a dear friend of both my wife and myself for all of that time. For many years I tried to ignore her looks as a marriage survival tactic and I must say I was pretty successful at blotting this twenty something blonde haired and blue eyed woman's beauty from my consideration. A few months ago my wife was transferred out of the office that we worked together in and I was livid and ready to quit. Adrian kept me straight. She would tell me to shut up in office meetings when I was getting combative with the manager and she would lecture me about throwing a tantrum about not being able to work with my wife.
I began to see a lot more in her than I ever had before. In a matter of weeks as we talked and she went out of her way to help me stay focused I began to fall head over heels in love with her. She is a remarkable person, a woman of character. She told me, though, in no uncertain terms, when I had opened up to her about my feelings that one, she would never do anything to hurt my wife, and two, she wasn't romantically inclined toward older men. In fact, she couldn't even imagine that with our age difference of 24 years.
She's been an incredible friend and I've enjoyed her friendship and the laughs and times we've had together more than anything in my life, almost more than my marriage to the wife I love dearly and, as it turns out, so does Adrian. I have been fantasizing lately about what it would be like to have an affair with Adrian, something which doesn't look like its possible now, but as time goes by may actually be a possibility. I don't want to leave my wife but I do want Adrian to be mine. As bad as that sounds I'm not apologizing for it. I feel what I feel and I love that woman as well as my wife. I can, at least, fantasize about having them both.
I picture it like this. As Adrian and my friendship grows more and more solid and she sees how solid a friend I am and how faithful a friend (if not faithful a husband) I am I see her leaning more and more on me. Her husband is an alcoholic who is emotionally unavailable to her and she is very unhappy but determiend to see things through and to make their marital counseling a success. One day she and I will be talking and she will pour out her heart to me about her pain and sorrow with the man she wants so much to love but who is so hard to love. In fact, that ship may have sailed. I don't see her loving him again like she once did.
She'll be in our office or visiting my home on her day off. She'll be teary eyed and she'll need to be comforted, desperately need someone to comfort her. I've respected her space up to now but I can sense her need to feel a man's arms around her. We'll embrace as her tears run down my face and I taste them and her sweet mouth. She'll hungrily accept my kisses and I'll feel her long fingers stroking my back and holding onto my shoulders as my hands explore the contours of her tender body.
I'll feel the need in her breast to be loved and we will, without even speaking, move into one of our spare bedrooms where we undress each other and as I remove her clothing I gently kiss every square inch of skin that is revealed. I see it happening like this; that we spend a long, long time kissing and touching each other, that she wants to be held and loved a long, long time. By the time we do come together, the need has been honed to a fine edge, a fire that demands to roar out of control. It is satisfying for both of us on many levels and we lay there feeling each other's hearts beat against each other for a long time.
Facing twinges of guilt, we both know my wife must never know what has happened between us. I just know she'll come to me again. I want her to want me. I can't make her marriage better or worse and she doesn't want to destroy mine. Our friendship moves to a different level. We are now lovers. Anyway, that's my fantasy. I'll add more later, at another time, about how I believe that Adrian has a part in my future.